Kill La Daisy
by ViewtifulGene
Summary: Daisy, a fiery, redheaded tomboy with a passion for sports seeks enrollment at the prestigious Smash Academy. In a struggle for acceptance she must defeat Peach, the student council president of steel and her Four Heavenly Kings of Newcomers. Will Daisy's athletic prowess earn her a seat in Smash Academy? Don't hold your breath.
1. Chapter 1

In the year 201X, all seems well in the Smash Bros Kingdom. Nintendo All-Stars prepare for a new year at the Smash Academy, an invite-only preparatory high school. The impregnable eyebrows of the student council president enforce the academy's ironclad rules.

Without invitation or authorization, one fiery tomboy infiltrates the Smash Academy. Daisy in her dress walks down the dilapidated streets leading to the towering Smash Academy, bearing a sack of sports equipment and a ferocious scowl. She bites off part of a lemon and sneers at the Smash Academy's classroom tower. Daisy asks, "What's so great about a high school that doesn't even have sports?" She swallows the remainder of lemon and clenches a fist. "I'm gonna give them a piece of my mind! Oh yeah!"

Peach stands atop the titanium gate of Smash Academy, looking down on her subjects entering. Her fierce, gargantuan eyebrows furrow as she notices one subject not in uniform. Peach pounds the top of the gate with her parasol. Standing firmly, Peach clasps both hands on the parasol's handle and a blinding light radiates behind her. Peach shouts, "Pig in human clothing, how dare you enter the Smash Academy!" Her eyebrows probe Daisy's sporty soul.

Daisy responds, "HI I'M DAISY! Your school needs more sports!" She takes a soccer ball out of her bag with a smirk.

Peach's noble brow furrows. She stamps her parasol again and commands, "Students of Smash Academy! Those chosen by Sakurai! Show this pig in human clothing our athletic prowess!" Every character in the Brawl roster takes a baseball bat and soccer ball out of their backpack and throws them at Daisy. A mound of sports equipment buries a bruised and battered Daisy in her dress.

"Not... fair..." Daisy mutters. "That... doesn't... count..." Tears of rage stream down her swollen face. Did Daisy underestimate the sports program at Smash Academy? How could the academy have so many masters of sporting goods if none of the students rely on sports games to fill a resume?

An angelic chorus in Daisy's head sings, "HALLELUJAH!"

A voice awakens in Daisy's head. "Don't give up, Daisy!" Daisy In Her Sports Outfit (DIHSO) waves two pompoms while shouting. "OH YEAH! HI I'M DAISY! HOT STUFF!" She turns around and puts both pompoms on her backside while gyrating her hips. "This game needs..." DIHSO thrusts her pelvis left and right repeatedly. "MORE SPORTS!" DIHSO kicks a soccer ball. "MORE SPORTS!" DIHSO swings a golf club. "MORE SPORTS!" DIHSO throws a baseball. "So give them more sports!" DIHSO runs in place while holding a megaphone. "COME ON DAISY! WOOHOO!"

A sporty orange light erupts from the pile of baseballs and soccer balls. Daisy in her dress emerges from the pile of sporting goods as DIHSO. The fire in her eyes shows her determination to join the roster of SSB4.

The Brawl roster stares blankly at DIHSO. Peach stares into DIHSO's soul with her invincible eyebrows. "So this is your game, pig in athletic clothing," she says. "You think you should join us as a newcomer with only sports moves." Peach slams her parasol to the ground with both hands clasping the handle. A divine aura shines behind her. "I accept your challenge on one condition!" A short but well-built boxer walks out from the gate of Smash Academy, shadow boxing while approaching the challenger. Peach continues, "We have already accepted a star athlete for the next year at Smash Academy. Defeat him and you may pass."

Little Mac star-punches DIHSO so hard that she turned into a color swap of Peach. And all is well at Smash Academy.

CONTINUE?


	2. Chapter 2

_Last time on Kill La Daisy, Daisy attempted to enroll in the prestigious Smash Academy without an invitation. But Little Mac punched Daisy so hard she became a color swap of Peach. Daisy still have a chance? We will see._

A Daisy-Colored Peach (DCP) wakes up, finding herself on a black couch, covered with only a shabby, purple blanket. A sinewy, unsavory man in purple overalls glances at DCP and takes a drag from his cigarette. "Wah," he says while blowing out smoke. "See wa finally woke up, waah."

DCP picks up an eggplant laying on the couch next to her and throws it at Waluigi. "Hi I'm Daisy. WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO ME?!"

Waluigi takes another drag of his cigarette. He blows smoke in the shape of a question mark. A potted, miniature Piranha Plant nips eagerly at a cockroach crawling up the wall nearby. "Waluigi? Nothing, waah." Waluigi sighs. "But, how do Waluigi say this, waaah..." Waluigi looks down and grasps the brim of his hat. "Siddown. Waluigi blow you away."

Waluigi reaches into his overalls and produces a remote control. He presses a button and a throbbing electronic beat fills the air of his shabby apartment. He throws his cap off and shouts, "WALUIGI TIME!" Waluigi puts one hand on his crotch while the other hand slicks back his fabulous hair. "Now, I will show you..." Keeping one hand on his crotch while licking the fingers on his other hand, Waluigi thrusts his hips forward. "Everything."

As Waluigi walks forward, his overalls unbutton themselves and slowly melt off his sculpted body. He peels off his shirt and drapes it around DPC's bare shoulders. Waluigi's man-nipples gleam with the purple light of truth. Not even the tomato-red glow of DPC's face outshines the radiance of Waluigi's nipples. "Relax," Waluigi says, sitting next to Daisy while wearing only a set of very brief bikini briefs. He slides a hand down DPC's back. "Did anything ze change? Nono. You were always le Peach color swap."

DPC slaps Waluigi while starting away from the couch. "Nu-uh! I'm DAISY!" DPC slaps Waluigi again. "D-A-I-S-Y! DAISY!" DPC slaps Waluigi with every syllable spoken.

"Such passion. Tres bien." Waluigi curls his toes as he recovers from DPC's slaps. "But le truth c'est le truth. You are le Peach col-" DPC snaps Waluigi's shirt at his groin. Waluigi licks his fingers and slides them down his masterfully chiseled abdomen. "Relax, mademoiselle. Currently you are still le color swap. You always were. But maybe," Waluigi says. He stands up and leans closer to DPC's face. He whispers in her ear, "maybe... you can change that, non?"

DPC clenches her fists and responds, "OH YEAH!"

"Then we must geau." Waluigi brushes his pelvis against DPC's backside while turning to pick up his clothes. The electronic music stops. He redresses, suppressing the sexy beast once more. "I got work, wah. Ride wit Waluigi. Janitor closet hideout, waaah. Waluigi also waa-nted sports time. Waluigi help you, waah."

"OH YEAH! COME ON, DAISY! WOOHOO!" Waluigi and DPC climbed into a used Mario Kart and raced to Smash Academy. However, a green shell slams into their kart and knocks it off the road. Peach drives past in her kart, looking down on DPC. Her titanic eyebrows violate the most sensitive recesses of DPC's soul. Following behind Peach is an army of Smash Academy students in Mario Karts as a Lakitu carries Waluigi's kart away.

CONTINUE?


	3. Chapter 3

_Previously on Kill La Daisy, Daisy met Waluigi, a smoldering beefcake hidden behind the guise of a meager janitor. Daisy learned that she has always been a color swap of Peach, even before Little Mac punched her. Daisy and Waluigi attempted to enter the Smash Academy via Mario Kart and failed, but Daisy will not back down yet. _

Waluigi and Daisy-Colored Peach (DCP) walk to Smash Academy after Peach destroyed their kart with her eyebrows and a green shell. Little Mac guards the gate and permits both to enter after seeing Waluigi's sub-minimum-wage employee ID and DCP's color swap ID. "Waluigi hate dis," says the gangly janitor. "Always let Waluigi mop floors but never Waluigi time." He skulks into the towering classroom building to begin his shift. He turns around and looks at DCP. "Stay low. Waluigi time not happen if we caught, waaaah."

DCP nods and clenches both fists. She can bypass security as a Peach color swap. Little Mac felt no need to star punch her this time. And as a Peach color swap she has all the abilities of Smash Academy's ironclad student council president. Perhaps she can use this to her advantage. DCP says, "OH YEAH!" while running into the classroom tower.

DCP passes a classroom full of Captain Falcons. The Wii Fit Instructor orders her students to open their female anatomy textbooks. Two dozen manly voices shout "YES" in unison.

Just past Falcon Classroom 1B is the main office staffed by Toadsworth. Toadsworth looks quizzically at DCP. He asks, "Bladda bladda bladda?" Uneducated in Toadspeak, DCP grabs Toadsworth by the mustache and throws him through the window. She then leaps over the counter and activates the office loudspeaker.

DCP clears her throat. The school's 200 floors becone captive to her grating voice. Not even the mighty student council president's eyebrows can hide. DCP shouts, "HI I'M DAISY!" She slams her sack full of sports equipment on the counter. The loudspeaker captures the sound of stiff baseball bats and supple balls. "I represent the SPORTS games but some JERK took my spot!" DCP stomps several times. "I'm here to give that JERK a piece of my mind with SPORTS! OH YEAH!"

Waluigi sighs heavily while scrubbing a toilet as DCP outs herself. Golden light fills the Smash Academy building as a commanding, bushy-browed voice issues a response to DCP's speech. Peach declares, "Pig who craves the swill called athletic clothing, I have heard your plea for punishment. I shall grant your request in the fieldhouse."

DCP enters a gymnasium packed with color swaps from the Brawl roster. Several characters hold signs with daisies covered with red X-marks. At the center of the gym stands Peach, the tyrannous student council president. She looks down on DCP atop a platform held by The Four Heavenly Kings of Newcomers: Mega Man, Wii Fit Trainer, Little Mac, and Villager. Peach's thick, bristly eyebrows abrade DCP's very soul.

DCP pulls a baseball out of her duffel bag and hurls it at Peach. Peach tilts her head aside as it brushes past. DCP leaps into the air with a golf club overhead. She yells, "NO NO NO NO!" DCP slams her club at Peach's face while shouting, "YOU KLUTZ!" Peach parries the with her own golf club. Suspended midair, DCP grinds her golf club against Peach's while accusing, "You stole my spot for SPORTS, you JERK!" The two Peaches' golf clubs glow orange from friction as sparks shower the gym floor. DCP pulls her burning club away and twirls midair, swinging the club at Peach's midsection.

Peach steps back and smashes her club into DCP's back. DCP flies across the gym, landing backside-first in a basketball hoop. The basketball hoop explodes and DCP falls. She lays unconscious, belly-up on the gym floor. The students of Smash Academy bestow thunderous applause on their student council president. Only a Nintendo All-Star could score a hole in one, a three-point shot, and a one-hit knockout with one move.

As DCP lays unconscious, a familiar vouce calls her.

HALLELUJAH!

Daisy In Her Sports Outfit (DIHSO) awakens within DCP, shouting, "HI, I'M DAISY!" DIHSO puts on a pair of boxing gloves and rapidly punches the air. "You can beat that JERK, I know you can!" DIHSO turns around and arches her back, accentuating her backside. "You have more ass than Peach! I know! I've seen it!" DIHSO dons a Sherlock Holmes hat and examines a stack of questionable fan art with a magnifying glass. "You're WAY different from Peach in the place it counts most in a battle!" DIHSO bends over and presses her backside against a glass pane. "And this sports outfit will bring out your true power!" DIHSO wears a cheerleader outift and gyrates her hips with her back turned. "So show everyone some more SPORTS! COME ON DAISY! WOOHOO!"

DCP's eyes open. She stands up and tears off her dress, transforming into DIHSO. Somewhere in the background, a Japanese pop singer belts out in minimally acceptable English,

DON'T LOSE YOUR WAAAAAAAY!

COME ON! WE NEED TO PLAY SOME MORE SPORTS!

DON'T BE AFRAID OF THE SPORTS! YOU KNOW THIS GAME NEEDS SOME MORE SPORTS!

REPRESENT THE SPINOFFS LIKE OTHERS CAN'T DO-OOOO

GET IN THIS GAME BEFORE MY FANBASE DIES!

A fire burns in DIHSO's eyes as crystal gauntlets form on her hands. She holds a hockey stick in one hand and a tennis racket in the other. DIHSO lets out a blood-curdling war cry as she dashes toward Peach. At last, DIHSO shall grasp victory with a moveset no other character can offer.

Peach removes her dress, revealing her own sports outfit. She counters DIHSO's fastball charge with a baseball swing. She hits a homerun, blasting DIHSO out of Smash Academy. And so another fulfilling day at Smash Academy resumes.

CONTINUE?


End file.
